Sam The Sham And The Pharaoh's — Little Red Riding Hood Lyrics
Roald Dahl, Revolting Rhymes
La Finta Nonna (The False Grandmother--Italian Oral Traditional Story)
Sam The Sham And The Pharaoh's — Little Red Riding Hood Lyrics
*howl*
What's that I see walkin' in these woods?
Why, it's Little Red Riding Hood.
Hey there, Little Red Riding Hood,
You sure are lookin' good,
You're everything a big, bad wolf could want...
*Listen to me*
Little Red Riding Hood,
I don't think little big girls should
Go walkin' in these spooky ol' woods alone.
*howl*
What big eyes you have,
The kind of eyes that drive wolves mad.
So just to see that you don't get chased,
I think I ought to walk with you for a ways.
What full lips you have,
They're sure to lure someone bad.
So until you get to Grandma's place,
I think you ought to walk with me and be safe.
I'm gonna keep my sheep suit on,
Til I'm sure that you've been shown
That I can be trusted, walking with you alone.
*howl*
Little Red Riding Hood,
I'd like to hold you if I could,
But you might think I'm a big, bad wolf, so I won't.
*howl*
What a big heart I have,
The better to love you with.
Little Red Riding Hood,
Even bad wolves can be good.
I'll try to keep satisfied,
Just to walk close by your side.
Maybe you'll see things my way
Before we get to Grandma's place.
Little Red Riding Hood,
You sure are lookin' good,
You're everything a big, bad wolf could want.
*howl*
I mean baaaaa, baaaaaa, baaaaa.....
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Roald Dahl, Revolting Rhymes
Little Red Riding Hood and the Wolf
As soon as Wolf began to feel
That he would like a decent meal,
He went and knocked on Grandma's door.
When Grandma opened it, she saw
The sharp white teeth, the horrid grin,
And Wolfie said, ``May I come in?''
Poor Grandmamma was terrified,
``He's going to eat me up!'' she cried.
And she was absolutely right.
He ate her up in one big bite.
But Grandmamma was small and tough,
And Wolfie wailed, ``That's not enough!
I haven't yet begun to feel
That I have had a decent meal!''
He ran around the kitchen yelping,
``I've got to have a second helping!''
Then added with a frightful leer,
``I'm therefore going to wait right here
Till Little Miss Red Riding Hood
Comes home from walking in the wood.''
He quickly put on Grandma's clothes,
(Of course he hadn't eaten those).
He dressed himself in coat and hat.
He put on shoes, and after that
He even brushed and curled his hair,
Then sat himself in Grandma's chair.
In came the little girl in red.
She stopped. She stared. And then she said,
``What great big ears you have, Grandma.''
``All the better to hear you with,'' the Wolf replied.
``What great big eyes you have, Grandma.''
said Little Red Riding Hood.
``All the better to see you with,'' the Wolf replied.
He sat there watching her and smiled.
He thought, I'm going to eat this child.
Compared with her old Grandmamma
She's going to taste like caviar.
Then Little Red Riding Hood said, ``But Grandma,
what a lovely great big furry coat you have on.''
``That's wrong!'' cried Wolf. ``Have you forgot
To tell me what BIG TEETH I've got?
Ah well, no matter what you say,
I'm going to eat you anyway.''
The small girl smiles. One eyelid flickers.
She whips a pistol from her knickers.
She aims it at the creature's head
And bang bang bang, she shoots him dead.
A few weeks later, in the wood,
I came across Miss Riding Hood.
But what a change! No cloak of red,
No silly hood upon her head.
She said, ``Hello, and do please note
My lovely furry wolfskin coat.''
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La Finta Nonna (from http://rossobella.blogspot.com)
Ah, the red cape. How can I not make some reference to
Little Red Riding Hood, though she has grown-up considerably in my illustrations.
So, I present to you a version of the Little Red Riding Hood story.
This is called The False Grandmother, taken from the Italian oral tradition of the story called a finta nonna.
This is how the story worked before it was written.
The False Grandmother
Once upon a time a girl was walking through the woods with a basket of goodies for her grandmother, when she met a wolf. "Good day," said the wolf. "Where are you going so early in the morning?" Now the girl did not know that the wolf was a wicked animal, so she told him that she was going to visit her grandmother, who lived on the other side of the woods. She continued merrily on her way. The wicked wolf ran on ahead and arrived at the grandmother's house before the girl. He crept inside, leaped on the poor grandmother, and ate her up, saving only a pitcher of blood and a piece of flesh. He then climbed into the grandmother's bed, and waited for the girl. The girl soon arrived, and knocked at the door. "Just let yourself in," said the wolf, disguising his voice. "You must be hungry from your long walk through the woods. Do eat some of the meat that's on the kitchen table. And the girl ate from her grandmother's flesh. "You must be thirsty from your long walk through the woods. Do drink from the pitcher that's on the kitchen table. And the girl drank from her grandmother's blood. "You must be tired from your long walk through the woods. Do come to bed with me. And the girl climbed into bed with the wolf. She soon saw that it was not her grandmother in the bed with her, and she became frightened. Not knowing how else to escape, she said, "I have to go to the privy." "You can just do it in the bed," answered the wicked wolf. "I don't have to go little. I have to go big," said the girl. "All right," said the wolf, "but hurry right back as soon as you are done. The girl ran out of the house, and she ran past the privy, and she ran through the woods, and she did not stop until she was safely back at home. A. Millien: Mélusine, v. 3 (1886-1887), col. 428-429. (AT 333, Frankreich)